You don't have asthma, your pregnant
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I smell like Dick and happiness
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize