the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
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there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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