I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize