Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize