giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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