So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize