So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
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She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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