I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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