am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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