Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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