what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
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The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
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No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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