i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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