grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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