party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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