it was like his penis was on wheels.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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