I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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