Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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