the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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