I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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