Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
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you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
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We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize