I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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