so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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