He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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