You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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