If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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