I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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