Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.

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(504): Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time. http://tfl.nu/sw6g

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(647): View more from Ontario

TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.

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(647): TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW. http://tfl.nu/946s

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.

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(717): Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag. http://tfl.nu/8k5h

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(641): View more from Iowa

Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.

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(641): Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon. http://tfl.nu/inm7

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work

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(201): I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work http://tfl.nu/3682

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(704): View more from North Carolina

so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.

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(704): so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER. http://tfl.nu/dexf

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(817): View more from Texas

He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"

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(817): He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick" http://tfl.nu/f333

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(512): View more from Texas

we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja

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(512): we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja http://tfl.nu/0h0h

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.

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(774): You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/e4s1

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(713): View more from Texas

My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal

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(713): My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal http://tfl.nu/z8hr

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(407): View more from Florida

Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.

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(407): Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out. http://tfl.nu/ykxn

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(914): View more from New York

Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man

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(914): Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man http://tfl.nu/0gs2

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(636): View more from Missouri

I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you

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(636): I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you http://tfl.nu/1ybh

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(203): View more from Connecticut

They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.

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(203): They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex. http://tfl.nu/k0sh

Replies (3) Good night (530) Bad night (316)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?

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(706): I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get? http://tfl.nu/m9m9

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