wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize