someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
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The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
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Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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