Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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