Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
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he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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