I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize