community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
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I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
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Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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