I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
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Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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