I wanna passion pit in your ass
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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