just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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