Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize