I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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