Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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