There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize