no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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