Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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