Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Screwed.edu
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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