I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize