when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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