i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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