Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
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I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
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She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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