So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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