i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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