I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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